Sunday, July 25, 2004

Men's Day at Worship

Busy morning's worship, we finally got around to officially joining and the Praise band was an 'all guys' affair, as the girls were off at a conference in St. Louis. We had a great time and sounded quite good, if I do say so myself. Last week's sermon was 'What Women STILL Wish Men Understood About Women'. It was only fair that these week should be 'What Men STILL Wish Women Understood About Men' Jim started the sermon with this little list:

The Men's List
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Saturday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. "Yes" and "No" are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour, Lilac is a flower. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Sport, Cars or Bikes.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.



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